Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Chocolate dressed in red and pink foil clutters the grocery store, advertisements for flowers bombard your face everywhere you look. But I didn’t want to talk about romance this year. Instead of waxing on about love and all its mushiness, I wanted to drag some couples through the dirt. Here are six couples we (and by this I specifically mean I) love to hate.
1. Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley
I think this relationship suffers from deviating from the writing advice: “Show, Don’t Tell.” Throughout the series, we’re told how cool Ginny is, with her bat-bogey hexes and how she messes with her brothers. Although we catch an occasional glimpse of promise, I can’t think of a single scene with her and Harry together where I was convinced there was a budding romance. It almost feels like fans were all, “Harry and Hermione Forever!!!” and then JKR was like, “Haha, but a twist!”
And then we’re stuck with Harry and Ginny while Hermione settles for Ron.
2. Harley Quinn and Joker
On the surface, this relationship might seem all about mad devotion, but really, how can you not agree with Margot Robbie?
Robbie raises an excellent point, and she had to do a deep dive into research about co-dependence to do the role justice (which she did, by the way).
3. Jamie and Cersei Lannister
I don’t really even have to go into this one, do I?
4. Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester
Was no one else bothered by Mr. Rochester stashing his wife in the attic?! Just imagine, chatting with your maybe-soulmate over a cup of coffee. They lean across the table with a coy smile. “Oh, by the way, I’m still married. Don’t worry though. They never come out of the attic. Because I locked it. It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Want to hang out and watch Netflix?”
And if the incarcerated spouse burns the house down and permanently disfigures them, that’s the universe punishing them. Just keep running.
5. Jacob Black and Renesmee Cullen
You can try to blame werewolf hormones for this awkward relationship, but it’s still weird and just seems to serve a desperate attempt to make everyone happy after a collapsed love triangle.
P.S. She’s going to be a child for eternity, and that’s not ok either. Anyone remember Claudia from Interview with a Vampire? Spoiler alert: that didn’t end well.
6. Ross Geller and Rachel Green
Saved the most controversial for last. I might be one of three people in the universe who rooted for Rachel and Joey, but so be it. Ross was controlling, manipulative, and unsupportive. Rachel suffered from serious miscommunication issues and what seemed to be a very strange variety of FOMO–she seemed most interested in a relationship when Ross was either dating or literally marrying someone else.
I’m not a structural engineer or anything, but that seems like a terrible foundation for anything, let alone a relationship.
I could go on for days. Let me know in the comments whose romantic entanglements you love to hate!